Take a second to think about all the ways you’re lucky. By the way, if you’re in a crap mood and can’t think of one reason you’d ever use #blessed or #lucky in one of your posts, bear with me, sunshine.
Some things I know are really truly just luck. The biggest example being that my parents are amazing. I didn’t get to choose my parents, but boy am I glad they met and decided to have kids.
Then there are the other minor things that come to mind like how the weather was beautiful on the afternoon we got married. Again, this is something I didn’t have any control over and May can be a total crapshoot weather-wise in New Hampshire. That was luck.
Luck implies you have no control over something.
My guess is you’ve worked damn hard for the things you love most…those things that make you feel most blessed and lucky. Same is true for the people you think are so lucky because they hit the husband jackpot, got to retire early, get weekly mani/pedis or have time to exercise as much as they want.
Just remember that usually when you’re looking at someone thinking how lucky they are, what you’re seeing isn’t the product of of good luck at all. That “luck” usually stems from years of hard work, dedication, consistency and, yes, sacrifice.
That’s right. Don’t be fooled: it’s not luck, it’s hard work. At least most of the time.
Three Reasons I’m Not Lucky
…even though it might appear at first I am.
1. My husband.
I’ve had people tell me I’m lucky because I have a great husband. I mean, I do have a great husband and I’m glad I decided to say “I do.” However, that doesn’t mean things are always easy. He’s not perfect…and neither am I. {Pretty close, but not quite. HA}
We work really freaking hard at our marriage and communicating about our needs. I don’t always feel like having the tough conversations. In all honesty, there are days and months when we don’t work as hard as we can or give everything we’re capable of to each other. The most important thing is that we’re committed to this marriage and will not stop working at this. That doesn’t mean every day is sunshine and rainbows.
Read this: Don’t Tell Me How Lucky I am to Have a Good Husband
I didn’t have an arranged marriage, and you probably didn’t either. I made a choice to marry this man instead of settling for someone I didn’t truly love. And let’s be honest, I decided to stop dating bozos who weren’t ready for relationships and instead find someone who complemented me better.
2. My body, strength or fitness level.
I’ve had people tell me I’m lucky because I’m strong, have time to exercise, can “get away with” eating a lot of calories or have the willpower to turn down desserts. Yah, these things are not luck either. Sorry. Find all the four leaf clovers in the world and you’ll still have to work hard if you want to be lean, strong, or fit.
In college, and my early twenties, I struggled with my weight and confidence big time. I tried to beat myself into being thin by following food rules and running for an hour a day, every single day. I didn’t feel good and spent too much time thinking about how lucky those people were who had perfect {in my mind} bodies. Lucky them, they didn’t have to punish themselves with an hour of running every damn day either. And they probably didn’t feel the need to hide behind sweats every day.
Little did I know…most of them weren’t lucky. And even if a few of them were genetically gifted, they all had their own insecurities too. It wasn’t until I finally took responsibility for how I felt and took action in order to change. I finally realized what I was doing wasn’t working and knew it was time to make a change, mentally and physically. I stopped worrying so much about what other people were doing, and spent more time on what I was doing.
Restrict, binge, restrict, binge …on and on wasn’t the answer. Shocking, I know. 
To improve my confidence, happiness and physique I worked my tail off and invested tons of time an energy into figure out what makes me tick. I had to…
- Find a way of training I actually enjoyed with people I actually liked being around.
- Stop looking at exercise as punishment.
- Change the way I looked at food and ditch my constant fat talk and self-deprecating attitude.
- Be more realistic with my goals and expectations.
- Be held accountable by others around me instead of trying to “fix things” on my own in a private little bubble.
- Learn to prioritize things like sleep, training and cooking…sometimes at the expense of other things like drinking a bottle of wine every night or being up on the latest TV shows.
We all have a story and what I mention above is a long one made short of course. I’m simplifying how much work and time it takes to overhaul your confidence, strength, body composition and/or fitness level. It’s not easy and shame on anyone who makes it seem like it is. Sure, there are ways that make it easier to stay fit and healthy, and I hope I do a decent job of sharing some of those ways, but it’s a lot of freaking work and it’s about so much more than food and exercise.
I’m happy to say I’m in better shape in my 30’s than I ever was in my teens or twenties, but I’m also the first to say that being fit is a forever journey. It’s hard work and takes some serious trial and error for each individual. And then, once you figure out what works for you now, you age, have a kid, or go through some other lifestyle change and need to adjust again. It’s no joke, and it’s certainly not luck, finding the right balance of food, training and rest to feel your absolute best, look good or perform well in the gym.
3. My job, our gym, and my schedule.
I wouldn’t change my current job situation for anything. but I work more than ever. Working for yourself is hard. Working with your husband is hard. Building your own business from scratch is hard.
All these things are also rewarding. We’re 5+ years in at this point and we finally have a bit more freedom with our schedules. I’m not coaching much at all this summer, but there’s a reason for that. Our gym, Skill of Strength, is growing and we’re focused on providing the BEST experience for our members. That’s on me. Plus, Mike’s working 3 nights a week right now…just for the summer…so I’m home alone with the kids more than usual and picking up all the slack around the house.
We’re sacrificing family dinners and I am with the kids every morning and lots of nights. It’s hard, but awesome all at the sam time. What he’s doing is hard too. It’s team work…and that really can make the dream work. But don’t let people tell you it’s luck or it’s easy. We’re sacrificing things in order to make it work and we don’t always have the cushy schedules people might think.
Side note: we also have amazing members at SOS. For that we’re lucky, but I’d also say even that is a product of hard work as well. We get a ton of referrals through word-of-mouth because we’ve worked hard. We’ve build and educated a great team and we truly care and want to help people get the results they desire. Strength is about so much more than what happens under a bar or with a kettlebell.
From a member the other day…
“SOS has changed my life. I went to a camp last week, and where we were staying was .3 of a mile from all of the activities – a path I had to trek back and forth more than I few times. I found that I was jogging it, not because I was in a rush, but because I ‘could’. It’s amazing getting back into shape. It’s so worth the $.”
THIS IS WHY WE DO IT.
So, no matter what you see on the internet, and in social media, don’t be fooled: it’s not luck, it’s hard work. At least most of the time.
I’m thankful as hell for this life I’m living. I love my husband and my kids. I work hard at being a wife and a parent. I’m not done working on those things… and never will be.
I’m happy with where I’m at physically. I have my days…believe me. We all have our issues. But generally speaking, I love feeling strong and energetic and I love that exercise {and purposeful rest} are enjoyment now. I’m not done working towards fitness goals…and never will be. My goals will change and that’s okay.
I’m not quitting Corporate America jobs every 2 years because I’m looking for something less miserable. Hallelujah! I get to work with the best staff and best members in the whole world. The SOS community if more than I ever could have dreamed of. I’m also not sitting pretty eating bon bons and watching Netflix all day either. I’m working my ass off and I have good and bad days. Sometimes I even want to quit, but I won’t. I’m not done working on this business… and never will be.
Always remember that behind most success stories lies hard work…not luck.
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