Goal Setting 101

There are a million posts out there right now about setting goals. I’ve actually been reading a ton about goal setting this year in order to get better at this a) in my own life and b) for my clients.

Hopefully I can save you some time by breaking down what I’m finding be most important when it comes to setting and actually achieving your goals. Last week I shared some of what I’ve been reading in my post about including 5 reasons losing weight might be a terrible New Years Resolution.

Let’s break this into 3 steps so you can set and crush your goals for 2018.

1. Look back in order to learn from your successes and mistakes.

First thing’s first. Don’t skip this step! Take a moment to look back at what you accomplished this past year.

We often have a pretty hard time celebrating our wins. Often we look back on a year, or any timeframe, and remember only the things we wish we accomplished, yet failed to do. This year, take a few minutes to acknowledge your successes. Better yet, look at what actions made these accomplishments possible.

So, real quick. Evaluate your 2017 goals. Whether you had goals that were set in stone or not, look back and answer these 2 questions. {Okay, 4 questions.}

What was the best thing you accomplished in 2017? What actions helped you make that happen?
What’s your biggest regret from 2017? How can you accept it, move on, learn from it and make 2018 different?

2. Set goals you actually care about AND are willing to work for.

After you look back on your 2017 accomplishments and misses, put a little thought into what you want this coming year. Decide what you’re realistically willing to do in order to succeed. Be honest with yourself.

It’s possible you didn’t achieve what may have seemed like a great goal because in reality you didn’t care enough about crushing it to put in the necessary work. Keep in mind, many of the most beautiful outcomes are preceded by some ugly times and really hard work.

For example, if I set a goal to run a marathon just because my friend is doing one and it seems like something cool to do, I’d definitely fail. I don’t want to put in the work and I’m not willing to go through the pain it takes to get there. Long runs instead of coffee and sleep on the weekends? No thank you.

That’s a pretty obvious one for those of you who know me, but here’s one that might be a little tougher to see in your own life.

Let’s say you set a goal to lose 10 pounds in 2017 and you did not achieve this goal. Decide whether you care enough about losing 10 pounds that you’re really and truly willing to put in the work to make it happen in 2018. If it’s not a priority for you, you’ll just end up frustrated. Trust me. And by the way, it’s okay to not focus on weight loss if that’s not a priority for you right now. 😉

Make sure that before you set a goal, you actually really care about accomplishing this. Decide whether you’re willing and able to endure some pain or give up some pleasure to achieve the result you want. In the example of losing 10 pounds, are you willing to follow a nutrition plan long enough to actually see if it works? Are you willing to trade in nightly bottles of wine for earlier bed times? Are you willing to forgo take-out pizza on Fridays with your family? Or do you just not care enough right now given everything else going on in your life?

3. Focus on systems over goals.

This is one of the best, articles I’ve read in awhile. I shared a link to it in last week’s post, but it’s worth sharing again. I hope it resonates with you as much as it did with me. This is exactly why I use habit-based coaching with my nutrition clients and why I focus on sustainable habits in my own life too. When I focus too much on end goals, I end up stressed out and overwhelmed.

The author, James Clear, points out three reasons systems are better than goals.

Goals reduce your current happiness. Remember, you can be happy NOW while working to achieve your goals. This is why I usually don’t recommend super restrictive diets that make you miserable. You deserve to be happy now. Sure, you need to be willing to make sacrifices and endure some pain if you want to achieve a weight loss goal. However, the trick is to choose a goal that won’t require you to be in so much pain you’re a miserable human being. If running or following a specific diet is making you grumpy day in and day out, it simply isn’t going to work long-term. It’s not a system you can implement and keep at for good.
Goals are strangely at odds with long-term progress. We love immediate gratification. {Hello Amazon Prime!} It can be super frustrating and intimidating when you’re focused on a big goal versus something you can do day-to-day. Key takeaway: celebrate small wins and implement systems {habits} so you don’t get overwhelmed by your focus on the future.
Goals suggest that you can control things that you have no control over. Take, for example, one of my clients. She wants to feel happier and less stressed. She feels strongly that getting a new job will help her achieve those things. Getting a new job is a great goal for 2018. However, focusing only on the end result of getting a job can be frustrating. {Been there often in my corporate America days!} Instead, what if she can focus on a system instead? Taking action daily or weekly to get her to that goal. Right now, maybe that’s sending out 1 resume per week.

It’s easy to get so focused on an end result that you end up stressed out and give up. You decide you’ve failed before you’ve even given it a fair shot. Conversely, if you focus on doing the things you can commit to each day in order to continually grow your relationships, career and health you’ll end up conquering bigger things than you ever could have imagined.

Here are a few examples of systems I have in my own life that help me achieve my longer-term health, career, family and relationship goals. Without focusing on end goal.

Note the focus on things I CAN and WILL do versus a focus on all the things I can’t make happen right now.

I will shut my computer down after my 6 year old gets home from school on either Tuesdays or Thursdays.
I will strength train at least 3 times a week, and hit 10,000 steps 80-90% of the time.
I can eat overnight oats post-workout and salad with chicken on Mondays for lunch.
I will practice handstands 5 days a week. I can reach out to our new members after one month and check-in.
I can check-in with past leads every year to see how they are doing on their health and fitness journey.
I will schedule date nights with my husband at least once a month.
I can book a night or weekend away with girlfriends at least twice a year.

For me these systems get me to my bigger goals without so much overwhelm. These systems keep me happy now, even while I strive to get better in some ares of my life.

Ready to set and achieve your goals this year?

Depending on what type of person you are, bigger goals can provide motivation and momentum to get and keep you going. Use that momentum, but focus on systems, drawing from things that have worked well for you in the past. Commit to these systems and stay consistent. Check in with yourself, your accountability partner or your coach every 4-12 weeks and figure out how you can keep making progress towards your goals. What’s working? What’s not? And don’t forget, it’s okay to decide a goal isn’t for you… or isn’t for you right now.