It’s March. It’s been a long winter. I’ve been hearing from a lot of people who just feel Meh. Myself included.
Winter Blues?
I do think part of it is the time of year. Most of us are sick of winter at this point and no matter how active you are, I bet you move less when it’s crappier out. You get less sunlight {vitamin D is amazing} and fresh air than in the warmer seasons. More of us are sick in the winter and if you’re a parent, you’ve probably been dealing with sick kids on and off for the last few months. All of this mixed with long work hours, snow days, and you know, LIFE, likely leads to less sleep and more stress.
We all know stress is a recipe for disaster, right? It screws with your whole mind and body.
I love summer. I’m missing sunshine, warm air and long days spent outside. I feel kind of bloated a lot of the time right now, just not as light and happy as I usually feel in the summer months. The scale’s up a few pounds and my appetite and mood are kind of all over the place.
While I want to say screw you, February and March, deep down I know it’s all good. We can only control what we can control. Unfortunately, that’s not the weather this week and it’s definitely not sick kids. The great news is that this too shall pass. Seasons don’t last.
It’s a time of year where many of us feel unmotivated. The excitement we felt on January 1 about our goals is gone-zo. We don’t feel like taking action, we feel like sitting on the couch. We’re not quite ready to admit defeat, but also don’t really wanna face the fact that we haven’t even started moving in the right direction and it’s more than two months into the year. No action = no change.
Goals and Your Present Reality
Goals are exciting, especially the big ones we tend to set at the start of a year. We’re filled with hope of what’s to come.
When we’re about to embark on a new journey, most of us don’t get to freaked out looking at our current reality. We realize that if we want to go somewhere else, or achieve something better, we need to have an idea where we’re starting from. It’s easier to roll with where you’re at, even if you’re thinking how-the-hell-did-i-get-here, when you’re excited about an upcoming goal. You’re envisioning your progress down the road so you focus less on beating yourself up for where you’re at now.
As you know though, setting big goals and taking action to get results is hard work. Changing habits is tough. Sticking to what you know is the right thing to do long after you ‘feel like it’ is not easy. Often times we are so excited about getting results, we forget to think about how much we’ll have to give up on the road to achieve our goals. We hope for the best and forget to plan for obstacles that inevitably will come up. Thus, we don’t take action and we don’t make progress towards our goal. We end up right back where we started.
It’s March 7 and you might be right where you started January 1, but who wants to face face that reality?
Ignorance is Bliss
I get it. Ignorance really can feel like bliss. Once you know something you can’t un-know it. We don’t wanna let ourselves or anyone else down so it can feel like avoiding the truth is the best answer. That way maybe we didn’t fail. We’re humans. We back down when faced with conflict, disappointment and hard things.
Here’s something interesting. We held an InBody body fat testing session for our clients at Skill of Strength in January. The response was overwhelming when I first sent the the sign up link. Members were asking if we’d have another session scheduled for 8-12 weeks out so they could see their progress. I think we had 30 or so people in that first round and several more who wanted to come, but couldn’t make the date/time.
Guess how many we have signed up for the follow up session so far? Five.
In our member’s defense, I think some of these people signed up more for general knowledge and not as much for accountability. At SOS we’re much bigger on long-term solutions and sustainable habits than we are on quick fixes so many of the people likely did the test just for overall knowledge versus having a 10-week goal in mind. However, I know there were several people who really wanted to work hard over the first few months of the year to see some change.
Mike and I were talking about this and I mentioned it’s kind of like the after pictures in my 6-week nutrition coaching groups. The people who don’t take actions and stay committed to the habits that will get them to their goals don’t bother take the after pictures. They usually just go MIA way before the pics are due. They don’t wanna know where they are at because it’s easier to hide than it is to feel stuck or disappointed. This is not me judging, it’s just what happens to all of us.
Believe me – I get it and I’ve done it too. I’ve set goals and not completed them many times. I just don’t talk about it much since it’s easier to go silent and it’s more fun to talk about the things that are going well. Right?
Oddly enough, I also heard from an ongoing nutrition coaching client just as I was drumming up this post in my mind the other day.
She was saying that every month she avoids the check-ins because she hasn’t been doing the work. YES. She nailed it. I actually notice that when clients are silent it’s usually worse than when they are checking in letting me know they’re frustrated with their choices or their {lack of} results. Seriously, radio silence from clients is usually no good when you’re a nutrition coach. Questions and communication are a very good sign when you’re a coach.
When something isn’t going as planned, it can feel easier to avoid the truth than to admit we didn’t or don’t want to change badly enough to take action. Avoiding your reality keeps you happy in the moment, but it’s likely preventing growth and may be the reason you’re not making progress towards your goals.
If you find you’re avoiding your reality in one or more areas of your life, dig a little deeper.
New Goals or Better Planning?
Did you set a goal that was not challenging enough? Or one that may have been too big and overwhelming? There’s a sweet spot when it comes to goal-setting for sure. Break your goal down into smaller chunks and celebrate your progress. Find ways to enjoy the journey and you won’t have to struggle through each miserable day because you’re so focused on the end result.
Do you want to keep working towards the goal, but need a little extra accountability? You know, like a kick in the butt to take action when you don’t wanna? Find a friend, a coach or a some other way to commit to yourself.
I’ve been talking to one of my clients about moving more for a long time. What finally got her to do it daily? She committed to not having coffee the next day if she didn’t get at least 7K steps. It’s working for her. Find what works for you!
Think about a few of best things you’ve done. They weren’t easy I bet. But you really wanted results and you likely didn’t hate the “getting-there” part all that much which made progress sustainable. You also may have built in punishment, rewards and/or accountability to keep you going along the way. We’re all different here. What works for you will likely not work for me or your husband. Husbands don’t usually fret about precious wine nights. Take away their Treehouse beer and you might have something.
Or maybe you just don’t want to achieve your goal enough. If it’s not a priority for you, even though you feel like it should be, adjust your goal and find something to work towards that you really care about and are willing to take action on right now. Stop wasting your time on goals that don’t matter to you.
Setting big goals and putting in the work to get results is tough. Do the hard work and realize that success comes after plenty of ups and downs. Build in check-ins often so you have to face reality all the instead of hiding. That way you’ll be a lot less likely to veer so far off the trail.
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