This winter has been a great one for my personal growth as a mom and business owner. I was forced outside of my comfort zone and placed in some stressful situations. It hasn’t been anything horrible or serious, but at times it certainly felt like one thing after another. Uncomfortable conversations, sick kids, things not going according to plan… you know the drill.
There were times I dealt with life quite gracefully and other times…let’s just say #notsomuch.
My Current Working Mom Situation
Time goes by too quickly every single day and I now truly see that as an amazing thing. It means I’m happy and no longer waiting for the weekend to live a life I love. That said, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want so I’m forced to prioritize big time. I’m learning to embrace asking for help from my husband, childcare providers, my parents…etc. Heck, I’m even slowly getting better at delegating some of my work. And yes, that scares the crap out of me since it’s our business and livelihood.
For the first time in my life, I’ve had very little control over my schedule and work hours, which has been a huge blessing in disguise. Fortunately I don’t have a boss and we’ve designed my work schedule so that snow days and kiddos getting sick doesn’t mean I have to cancel a million clients. It just means I work weird hours for awhile until things normalize. Plus, I LOVE my job… something not everyone gets to say about their job.
I realized something huge, and I say it out loud every chance I get. I worked hard to get here and I’m lucky I get to drop everything and take care of my kids when they need me.
I have been a mom for almost 6 years now and sure, it was a huge adjustment when Connor was born. However, he really didn’t get sick much and up until this past year he was in daycare with the same schedule year-round. Even during the first year Drew was born, both kiddos had similar schedules, went to the same daycare and neither one of them got sick very often.
This year felt like a whole new rodeo with our first year of public school, another child in daycare and lots of sickness in our household. Fortunately, nothing serious, but lots of moving parts, constant worry, and pee, puke and poop in places I never imagined. The positive bonus – extra snuggles!
I know for a fact many of you have been dealing with the same types of things this winter. Coming out of it (YAY spring!) I am looking back and seeing that learning to cope more gracefully with the things that tend to set me off has made me a better person and specifically a better mom, wife, daughter, coach and friend.
What I’m doing to be Happier
They say a happy wife equals a happy life. Is it true also that a happier mom equals happier kids?
I’m just like you. I snap at my kids and my husband a whole lot more when I’m lacking in the sleep department, feel overwhelmed with to-dos or am stressing about things that are either out of my control, like sick kids or crazy people or small picture annoyances that aren’t worth my time.
When it comes down to it, choosing to be happy and letting go of the small things is the number one best thing you can do for yourself and others around you. This article really resonated with me {The Day My Child Lost Her Joy – and What I did About It} particularly because I’ve seen how much my own happiness, or lack thereof, affects my children’s behavior and overall attitude about life.
As a mom it’s easy to get wrapped up in things like being crafty, figuring out the perfect recipe of time spent on independent play, homework time, sports activities, play dates and family time. Sure, that stuff kind of matters I guess, but really if you’re happy and doing what keeps you happy, it’s a hell of a lot more likely your kids will be just fiiiine and happy too.
And really, when you’re a parent, isn’t your number one hope is to see your kids happy?
Self Care and Priorities
To wrap back around to something I always say I truly feel it is not selfish to take care of yourself and put yourself first quite often. I know, it’s not easy to make time for yourself, although it does get easier with practice. Particularly once you see the results, both in your own life in and in the lives of those you love.
I am still a total freak when it comes to certain things like being organized and I’m always going to be a mom who does the dishes, knowing my kids will be just fine.
I know that asking for help, prioritizing me-time, fitting in exercise no matter what and yes, even doing the dishes and prepping food, are worth it because these things actually keep me sane. They make my life easier which makes me happier, and in turn ends up making my kids happier.
Then there are the other things that are no longer worth stressing about because they don’t provide the same type of benefits/results for me or my kids. A little dirt on the floor, a spilled coffee, boogers on the couch, a husband who didn’t put his things away, the constant disgustingness of bathrooms used by 6 year old boys… these are not worth getting angry about anymore.
When I feel like freaking about those things, I’m learning to take a moment, chill the f out and not let the small things ruin my day.
Gratitude Makes a Difference
In addition, I’m practicing a lot more gratitude. I’m not taking my family, health or our gym for granted. I’m making it a point to communicate more openly with my husband so we don’t end up in silly arguments about who is working harder or had a longer day. {Oh please, you know you’ve fought about this too.}
Every single day I’m choosing to focus on something awesome. I’m smiling more, dancing to music in the kitchen, soaking up the extra snuggles with sick kids and choosing to be thankful we’re going on vacation instead of stressing about how we’re leaving a little later than planned. These are the things that matter. If you’re late for vacation, it’s going to be okay.
As long as your happy, the kids will be too… and that makes for a much more peaceful car ride to vacation.
Have you ever noticed how much your happiness
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